I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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