I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
