Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
