margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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