it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
is this the sara with the beer cane?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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