bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
