you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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