i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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