Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
