Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
this just has baby written all over it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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