I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize