Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
