what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
