Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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