why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
