i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
