Where are you?
In a non slutty way
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
