I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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