first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize