Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
