And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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