I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
