Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
