If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
