i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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