Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize