he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
