I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
