Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
