we're blogging at a bar
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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