you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
