I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
