I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Boobs are out for the taking
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
