i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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