I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
