you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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