I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
