Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
