Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush

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(206): View more from Washington

i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.

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(207): View more from Maine

Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.

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(858): View more from California

Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.

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(719): View more from Colorado

There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.

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(916): View more from California

I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.

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