Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize