At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I will be naked everywhere
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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