I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize