im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
