So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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