i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
