Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
