is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Found the puke drawer
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
