I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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