I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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