i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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