Sry I called you an 8
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
