Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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