For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
