Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
