it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
