I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
