I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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