Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I didn't notice because vodka
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
