watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
