she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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