Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize